Ideas & Answers

I get called arrogant kind of a lot. When I ask those who know me well about the issue, they note that I am a bold & confident person (no disagreement). Then, they usually cite some interaction they had with me in the past in which I was very receptive to feedback or perhaps even explicitly admitted being wrong (something I am quite a lot) as evidence that I am not arrogant. So, I’ve been reflecting on this a bit (you know, cause getting insulted isn’t fun).

I think I’ve come to a conclusion. I view the world in ideas rather than answers. When someone asks me a question I almost always have an idea (so do you), but not necessarily an answer. However, I wonder if people hear my ideas as answers? (Thus inferring that I “have an answer for everything”).

Now I’m left trying to figure out how to help those I communicate with understand that I am proposing ideas rather than stating answers. I believe this will be more daunting than it seems. For example, if I give up on my ideas too easily, then they won’t be fully explored. That is, if we give up on ideas because we don’t want to seem arrogant, then the idea seems weak because of our fortitude rather than weakness inherent to the idea. If an idea is weak, we should abandon it, but we should not abandon an idea because of any trait of the proposer (good or bad).

*

While I could respond more often with, “I don’t know”, I don’t think such a response gets us anywhere. Perhaps I could say, “I don’t know, but here’s an idea…”, or maybe I’ll just ask more questions.

I wonder if I view other people’s answers as ideas? I suspect I do as I rarely take someone’s word for something. So how do I continue wrestling with someone else’s idea while helping them realize I value their idea?

While writing this post, one thought kept popping up, “why should I have to change, shouldn’t other people just be more self-confident & recognize the value of ideas over answers?” Yet, I know this is an emotional response & I can only control what I say & how I say it, not how others interpret what is said. Sometimes it might be easier to just not talk at all.

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* The follow was edited out to avoid misinterpretation: “This makes me think of Christ – the embodiment of humility, yet filled with fortitude, & even a bit of certainty.” ¬†When I wrote that sentence, I was not at all comparing myself to Christ. ¬†Instead, I was noting how thinking about the fine line between humility & arrogance made me think *about* Christ. How is it that he was able to be known as so humble, yet consistently told people they were wrong (& with authority)?

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One Response to Ideas & Answers

  1. Lynda says:

    Your comment about how to make others understand is perhaps the arrogance being suggested. That you understand them is a more humble approach. Having ideas or an “answer” to everything is an inspiring to others not insulting. Consider the change in you only.

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